Ancestral Veneration: Honoring Those Who Came Before Us
Our ancestral work is some of the most important work that we do for ourselves and the planet.
Regardless of where we live or our lineage, we all have ancestors who influence our paths on both a personal and collective level. We have ancestors who have caused suffering and ancestors who have suffered. That is an inescapable truth, and some of the most important work we do around our ancestors is accepting and honoring the full truth of our lineages. It ain't all sunshine and rainbows.
Ancestral relationships are complicated and nuanced, filled with both beauty and shadow. Incorporating an ancestral practice into my path has been some of the most transformational and empowering work I've done spiritually. I truly believe that doing healing work around our ancestors—acknowledging their gifts and their wounds, their wisdom and their failures—creates ripples of healing that extend backward and forward through time. When we do this work, we're not just healing ourselves; we're participating in the repair of generational patterns and contributing to collective healing.
What is Ancestral Veneration?
At its core, ancestral veneration is the practice of honoring, remembering, and building relationship with those who came before us. It's about acknowledging that we stand on the shoulders of countless generations—their struggles, their wisdom, their resilience, and yes, their mistakes all flow through us.
Veneration doesn't mean putting anyone on a pedestal or pretending they were perfect. It means seeing them fully, with compassion and clarity, and choosing to maintain connection with those who can support and guide us from the other side.
Boundaries Matter in Ancestral Work
Remember—you get to choose who you work with and who you don't work with when it comes to spirits, guides, and ancestors. Boundaries are just as important with our relationships across the veil as they are in the physical world. Some people were harmful in life, and crossing over doesn't magically make them benevolent. You don't owe anyone your spiritual energy or altar space just because they share your bloodline.
Focus your veneration on the ancestors who uplift you, the ones who want your highest good, the mighty dead whose values align with your own path. Leave the rest for their own healing journey—that's not your work to do.
Simple Ways to Honor Your Ancestors
Ancestral work doesn't have to be elaborate or complicated. Some of the most meaningful practices are the simplest ones, woven into daily life in ways that feel natural and sustainable.
Share a Meal or Coffee
One of my favorite practices is having coffee with my ancestors at my altar. I pour myself a cup, pour one for them, and I just talk. I tell them what's happening in my life, what I'm struggling with, what I'm celebrating. Then I sit in the quiet and listen for their wisdom in return. Sometimes it comes as a feeling, sometimes as a memory, sometimes as a knowing that settles in my bones.
You can do this with any beverage or meal. The act of sharing food and drink has been a sacred form of connection across cultures for thousands of years.
Cook Traditional Foods
Preparing family recipes or foods that your ancestors would have enjoyed is a beautiful way to connect with them. When I make my grandmother's recipes, I can feel her presence in the kitchen with me. The smell of certain dishes can transport you across time, linking you directly to those who came before.
These meals can be enjoyed yourself as a way of honoring their memory, or they can be placed on your altar as offerings. Either way, you're creating a bridge between worlds through the simple act of cooking.
Continue Their Crafts
My grandmother was a talented basket weaver, and I'm working on re-learning what she taught me as a way to honor her memory. The same is true of embroidery—these skills passed down through generations carry not just technique, but the energy and intention of those who practiced them.
Learning or continuing crafts that your ancestors were skilled at creates a living connection. Every stitch, every weave becomes a conversation across time. Beyond preserving a skill, you're keeping their spirit alive through your hands.
Speak Their Names
Sometimes the simplest practice is the most powerful. Speak your ancestors' names aloud. Tell their stories. Share their wisdom with others. In many traditions, the dead are only truly gone when no one remembers them anymore. By speaking their names and keeping their stories alive, we ensure they continue to exist in this world.
Create a Simple Altar Space
You don't need an elaborate setup to honor your ancestors. A shelf, a corner of a table, even a windowsill can become sacred space. Place photos of those you wish to honor, objects that remind you of them, things they loved in life. Light a candle when you want to connect with them. Keep a glass of water refreshed for them.
The altar becomes a meeting place, a threshold between worlds where you can maintain relationship with those who have crossed over.
When to Do Ancestral Work
While ancestral work can be done any time throughout the year—our ancestors are always with us, in our blood and bones, in our smiles and tears—there are certain times that are especially supportive of this practice.
Samhain is perhaps the most well-known time for ancestral connection. This thinning of the veil is acknowledged across many cultures, making it a particularly potent moment for reaching across worlds.
Moon or Saturn days (Monday and Saturday respectively) or hours ruled by those planets carry the right energy for ancestral work.
When the moon or sun are in Scorpio, Cancer, or Capricorn, the astrological energies support deep emotional and ancestral connection.
The birth or death day of specific ancestors are powerful times to honor them individually.
Your own birthday is an excellent time to honor those who made your existence possible.
Any holidays where you typically gather with loved ones can become opportunities to remember and honor those who are no longer physically present.
Dark or new moons offer the quiet, introspective energy that ancestral work often requires.
Creating Ritual Around Ancestral Work
One of my personal favorite ways to do ancestor work is through candle magic. Setting aside dedicated time for formal ritual—whether at Samhain or any other meaningful time—allows us to go deeper into ancestral connection than we might in our daily practices.
Ritual creates container and intention. It marks time as sacred and signals to both our consciousness and to the spirits that we're opening ourselves to connection and communication.
This Samhain, I'm leading our Kindred Club community through a guided ancestral veneration ritual. We'll be gathering at sunset on Friday, when the veil between worlds is at its thinnest, to honor our ancestors together. If you'd like to join us for this ritual and be part of our ongoing community of practitioners exploring magic, spirituality, and the craft, you can learn more about Kindred Club here.
Whether you join us for formal ritual or simply light a candle and speak your grandmother's name, ancestral work is some of the most important work we can do—for ourselves, for those who came before us, and for the healing of the world.
Meet the High Witch
Erin Harker
I'm Erin Harker, a practitioner of ancestral magic and student of Druidry whose path weaves together Irish, Scottish, and German heritage with modern spiritual practice. My journey began in childhood with candlelit spells and family traditions, growing into a devotion to sacred hospitality and community care. Today, I serve as a bridge between worlds—helping others reconnect with their own magic through Magick Makers community, workshops, and spiritual guidance. Whether you're just beginning your journey or returning to a practice long forgotten, you'll find a welcoming space here where ancient wisdom meets modern needs.
Let's brew some tea and explore the magic that's uniquely yours.
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